OKCupid Wrap-Up and another thing

- My girlfriend of 3.5 years just broke up with me on Sunday due to some circumstances that made things tough.

Here's where the funny/I'm an idiot part comes in: I wanted to convince her that I wanted to change the circumstances. She thought I was acting irrationally (and didn't really want to) because I was scared of the relationship ending. That isn't the case, as it's something I've wanted to do for a while but never told her. So, I reiterated the same point in a few emails to drive home the point that I'm not being crazy. But, sending someone a lot of emails telling them you're not crazy is not the best way to convince someone you are not crazy. I'm not. I just kept thinking of things I should have included in the previous messages. (By the way, we're talking 5 emails. Not 50.) In hindsight, I may as well have said, "No, I'm thinking straight. Ever since I started doing cocaine, I'm seeing everything for what it is. I started shooting meth yesterday too, and my toenails gave me all the answers. Please listen to me!" So, I messed up.

- My friend Erin has been a huge help in all of this. I decided to repay her just now by sending her an email with imagery that no girl wants of one of her best friends. I wrote, "BTW, my balls still work. I checked this morning." She responded, "Hooray! I was going to ask you about your balls. Good. Good." I don't think she meant it though.

-Because of the break-up, I have no desire to even jokingly maintain profiles for Ghost and Van on a dating site. So, we're wrapping it up now.

Since last post, Ghost has received two unsolicited messages and one message response. The best unsolicited message was, "Subject: Dear Lord... Please tell me this is a joke. Please. By the love of everything." I also received, "Are you for real right now?"

His final tally is two responses from messages he sent. That's 10 points. He also received four unsolicited messages, for 40 points, bringing him to a grand total of 50 points.

No one even considered responding to any of Van's smug bag-o'-douche emails. But he did receive four unsolicited emails. It was mixed bag too. One was way too into him. That was documented earlier on the blog. One thought it was hilarious. One just wrote, "Thanks you." I don't know what that was for. And another realized it was a joke, but did not acknowledge whether or not she thought it was funny. It's the equivalent to telling a joke on stage and someone saying, "I see what you're doing there."

In the end of a terribly anti-climactic contest, Ghost has defeated Van 50-40.