The Annual NBA Playoffs Preview That No One Cares About

Warning to regular readers: This is not funny. It's not trying to be funny. It's about basketball.

My background: Basketball has been one of the three most important things in my life since I was about four. I could dunk in college. I even dunked a couple months ago, the last time I played. I won the three point contest in college by shooting a 26 out of 30 in the final. I know how to read NBA offenses and defenses. I watch around 300-350 NBA games per year. Consider this to be free expertise. Commence reading.

Disclaimer: I'm a huge Bulls fan. I miss an average of 3-4 games per year. I wear the Bulls' 2000 Draft Night hat just to show people that I was a fan when they couldn't win 20 games.

Eastern Conference:

#1 Chicago Bulls vs #8 Indiana Pacers

The Bulls are obviously going to destroy the Pacers. The Bulls have won 19 of 21, and 14 straight road games. That is impressive. That said, the Bulls went 15-1 in their division this year. The only thing preventing them from having the first perfect division record in NBA history was the Indiana Pacers. A few weeks ago, Tyler Hansbrough was unstoppable. He had about 8 straight games where he was one of the top two players on the floor each night. They played the Bulls during that streak and he out-energied them. The good news for Chicago is that Granger is back and Hansbrough doesn't get the touches anymore. And Luol Deng will pretty much shut Granger down. Sweep. 4-0.

#4 Orlando Magic vs #5 Atlanta Hawks

This is the best first round match-up in the East. If Orlando had two more viable big men, they would be a title contender, but Dwight Howard is literally their entire interior and entire defense. Gortat is just there so that Howard can take Gatorade breaks. This will be a great series because Orlando is jump-shooting team. Jump-shooting teams ALWAYS lose in the playoffs against a good defensive team. You're not going to be hot on 4 out of 7 nights against a good defensive team. Atlanta has one of the best individual line-ups of defenders: Josh Smith, Kirk Hinrich, Joe Johnson and Al Horford. That is a perfect defense. On paper, that is. Here is where I backtrack. If Joe Johnson was playing at the level he was at before he signed the new contract last summer, Atlanta would take this in six. However, you don't enter the playoffs on a six game losing streak and start hot. Their chemistry is fleeting. Orlando should win this series in seven games, because of Atlanta's inconsistency. If Atlanta comes out flat in game 2 (I'm expecting them to lose game 1), Orlando could win in five. If Howard wasn't 99% responsible for Orlando's defense, and someone else could guard someone, this could be an Orlando sweep. This will be an anomaly of a series, when a jump-shooting team beats a defensive team, simply because the jump-shooting team also has the best defender in the game and Atlanta is too streaky.

#2 Miami Heat vs #7 Philadelphia 76ers

Philadelphia has been playing better than they are, which will come to an end. They're like the Scott Skiles Bulls. Doug Collins maximizes every player. It serves your team great during the regular season because you'll beat the bad teams almost every time. But in the playoffs, you have to play playoff teams every night. I'll get to Miami in more depth for the next series. Miami in five, although a sweep wouldn't surprise me. The fact that Collins got the here is as impressive as the Bulls winning 62.

#3 Boston Celtics vs #6 New York Knicks

The most underrated elite team versus the most overrated mediocre team. The Celtics seem to be coasting lately - four or five weeks. Rondo has been playing like a pile of dung in comparison to his standards. Two years ago, Rondo had a passable regular season. When the playoffs started, he was an animal. Boston has the second best defense in the league. The Knicks score a lot. The determining factors are going to be: The Knicks allow 106 points every night, while Boston has the most efficient offense in the league(maybe #2 since their recent slump). Boston plays at a pace that will force the Knicks into half-court offense, which means NY will settle into ISO. ISO doesn't work against Boston. They rotate too well on penetration. The most important deciding factor is that Boston plays as a team. The Knicks watch Melo-Amare-Billups. If all three aren't hot, and Toney Douglas doesn't have a career game, they don't have a chance on any night. This will be an entertaining series, but Boston will take it in five.

Eastern Conference Second Round

Bulls vs Magic

Orlando doesn't have the depth inside to play with the Bulls. And their shooters will not have time against Chicago's close-outs, which are video game quick. Derrick Rose will not allow the Bulls to drop more than one game against Orlando. I think it will be game 3. So, Bulls in five.

Miami vs Boston

Best series so far. Two weeks ago, I would have said Boston in six. Now I don't know. If the Celtics had kept Kedrick Perkins, I would pick them to win the East, no question. That loss makes them a different team. Miami is peaking. I still don't know if Miami will have the balance to beat a great defensive team like Boston four times. Miami's defense is great too. Boston has the most efficient offense. This is the toughest series to predict in the playoffs this year. I think it will come down to Rondo. If he plays up to his potential, we could see Boston closing the series in six on their home-court. If it goes to seven, on one hand, it's hard to see Miami losing game 7 at home, but it's just as inconceivable for the Celtics' defense to let Miami's big three have 4 big games. I think I have to go with Boston in six because of Miami's poor PG play. That said, I would not be surprised if Miami ran Boston out of the gym in five games. You can't predict what Miami Heat team will show up from night to night. But officially, Boston in 6.

Eastern Conference Finals

Bulls versus Heat

The Bulls swept the Heat during the regular season, but neither team was healthy in any of the three games. Based on the Bulls rarely having a poor game, unrelenting effort, and D-Rose's dominance, the Bulls will take this series in six.

Western Conference

#1 SA Spurs vs #8 Memphis Grizzlies

Memphis is better than an 8 seed. They're actually a really good team. If San Antonio is healthy, they are the best team in the league. Even if Manu is out longer than they anticipate, this series still won't last long. The Spurs are just too good. Spurs in 5.

#4 OKC Thunder vs #5 Denver Nuggets

Denver is the most balanced team in the league. They have the third best record in the league since they got rid of Melo, behind the Bulls and Lakers. Kobe praised them a few weeks ago after the Lakers lost to Denver, saying the Nuggets have two starting line-ups and no bench players. True. Plus the Nuggets are one of the best coached teams in the league. A lot of experts are picking Denver, but I don't see it happening. OKC is the 4th or 5th best team in the league. They have two superstars and a great defensive presence by someone I hate as much as Bill Laimbeer, Kedrick Perkins. OKC in six, although every game in this series will be very close.

#2 Lakers vs #7 New Orleans Hornets

This year's Lakers are literally unbeatable when they're on. The Hornets are very good when David West is healthy. He isn't healthy now. This will be a sweep that might be embarrassing in two or three games.

#3 Dallas Mavericks vs #6 Portland Trailblazers

Portland is not a 6 seed. If Roy had been healthy all season, they would be sitting around 3 or 4. Dallas, as usual, is a great regular season team. Tyson Chandler's presence inside will make every game close. Dirk will always deliver. But Portland is so deep. The combination of Aldridge, Roy and Gerald Wallace is as good of a 1-2-3 punch as any in the NBA. I know it sounds crazy, but there's no ego with these three. They're great teammates. Even Roy, with all of his skills, doesn't spurn the offense for ISO. I like Portland in 7.

Western Semis

#1 Spurs vs #4 Thunder

If the Spurs aren't 100%, OKC will out-energy them. OKC could take this series, but I have to count on the Spurs playing a 4 or 5 game series in the first round while OKC plays 6 or 7. With the possible extra week of rest (in addition to the sometimes 3-4 days off in the first round) to keep the Spurs fresh, I like the Spurs in 7.

#2 Lakers vs #6 Portland

Re-read what I wrote about the Lakers. This will be a walk. They will get lazy and lose game 4, and wrap it up back in LA in game 5.

Western Conference Finals

#1 Spurs vs #2 Lakers

If LA loses sync, as they have during three streaks this season, the Spurs will take this series, again, provided they're healthy. But ultimately, the Lakers have the biggest, best roster, and the best coach. They're built for the playoffs. Lakers in 6.

NBA Finals

#1 Chicago Bulls vs #2 LA Lakers

Holland is my national soccer team. I already know what it feels like for your favorite team lose in the final, after the World Cup last year. It takes time, but eventually I cope.

Logic, numbers, momentum, home-court and every quantifiable measure tells me the Bulls win this. The Lakers will get destroyed by Derrick Rose for sure. The Bulls are the only team in the league with the front-court depth to play with LA. Deng guards Kobe as well as anyone. The Bulls have home-court, are the best home team in the league, and are riding a 14 game road winning streak. The Bulls dominated the NBA's elite this year, while LA was just good against them. There are so many reasons to believe that the Bulls will win. But I still say the Lakers are the Lakers and Phil Jackson is Phil Jackson. They don't lose to young teams in the playoffs. Somehow, LA will find a way to win game 6 or 7 in Chicago and win the series. I'm sad about it already.

All of the above predictions will happen, except hopefully not the Finals.